[Quest Claim] Oh What Customs!

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Kevaar's picture
Kevaar
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I spoke with another dev and was given the go-ahead to do some some work on this claim. Until we figure out how to go about merging this quest into the master files, I’m going to be putting the dialogue up here for review.

*****

Changelog

****

v1.0.0

--all basic dialogue has been written

--some coding markups included

--needs code for Rother attacking other NPCs

--needs code/dialogue for quest updating on successful pickpocket

--needs name of warehouse Rother’s cargo might be stored in (and/or place where the bottles of mazte can be found)

--locations of Porcilla and Ragosh need confirming so accurate directions to them can be given

--may need extra dialogue topics to tie up loose ends

--policy on using NPC names in dialogue? First name, last name, both?

******

Journal Entries

 

Part 1, meeting Rother Nerevyn

 

Part 2, talking to Porcilla

 

Part 3, back to Rother

 

Part 4, talking to Ragosh gro-Matog

 

Part 5, back to Porcilla Dythos

 

Part 6, Rother Nerevyn will be pleased

 

Loose ends

 

For any misc. topics that might need to be added. Nothing to see here yet.

 

Parker's picture
Parker
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Here are a few thoughts on the dialogue. Overall. this looks very good – a real pleasure to read. My concerns are only minor ones.

- I think it should be made clearer that – as an Oathman – Rother Nerevyn is not an actual Indoril, but merely a servant of House Indoril. It’s an important distinction that someone (probably Gnomey) could explain better than me.

- “Tribunal-fearing” sounds too clearly Christian to me, and I’m not sure the Dunmer would even use “fear” to describe their relationship with their Gods.

- Oi! also strikes me as out of place in Elder Scrolls dialogue.

- I’m not fond of using all-caps when writing – exclamation points can get the point across nicely enough.

The modder formerly known as Yeti.
Head of NPCs - Skyrim: Home of the Nords

Rats's picture
Rats
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I never thought that this quest could be this funny. Great work!

A minor thing I’d like to change is that some of the player character’s responses could be a bit more plain and simplified to leave something for the player to imagine, though I know it’s difficult especially in a dialogue driven quest like this.

For example:

“You and Porcilla Dythos both know that confisticaitng the cargo over three bottles of mazte is unfair.” → “Confiscating the cargo over three bottles of Mazte is unfair.”

 

I agree with Parker’s points, except for the Oi! bit. I think it works within Porcilla Dythos’ way of speaking. There’s something hilariously Monty Python-esque about the dialogue you’ve written for her.

 

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First, as to Rother Nerevayn being an Indoril Oathman as Yeti pointed out: Indoril retainers generally don’t seek profit through trade, (actual Indoril, the nobility, generally don’t trade at all, at most exchanging gifts with each other), but merely an exchange of goods. House Indoril also has no or very few independent merchants; the vast majoriy of Indoril tradesmer exchange goods on behalf of their Indoril lord. As such, Rother Nerevayn wouldn’t directly be worried about losing profit, as he’s probably just shifting the capital of his Indoril lord. He would, however, be very worried about invoking the wrath of said Indoril lord, and more probably (it’s unlikely the lord would even hear of his blunder) of the lord’s Tollmer, who basically administer over the lord’s financial affairs in his stead.

Several mostly very minor suggestions:

Porcilla Dythos

Move along, move along. Oi! %PCrace! You’re holding up the line!

[...]

Oh, very well, I’ll tell you more about it, but only because I have a few minutes to spare.

These two lines are contradictory, which given the situation might work out or might end up sounding strange. I’d suggest changing the second line to something like “Oh, very well, I suppose I can set aside a minute for you.”

The first line could sound strange if the player has already talked to or especially raised disposition with her; I’d consider just leaving out the part I quoted, or failing that either write an alternate line for that eventuality or adjust the line to cover all eventualities. The first line will also sound strange if there’s no actual line of NPCs, so I’d suggest removing that bit either way or adding an actual line of NPCs. If there’s space, I might actually like the second option, though their ‘hello’ should be set to very low/zero.

 

Rother Nerevyn

She...she SAID WHAT?!?

--Choice 1 “Whoa, calm down.”

confisticated cargon (choice 1)

Calm down. You want me to...Calm. DOWN?! Do you KNOW how much that shipment cost me to get here? Do you know how much money I will lose if I can’t trade it off within the month?! All for the sake of THREE BOTTLES OF MAZTE??

I’d avoid single choices, unless the single choice is ‘continue’; it limits the player’s roleplaying options. In this case, I’d leave out the choice and just go with something like this: “She...she SAID WHAT?!? Do you KNOW how much that shipment cost me to get here? Do you know how much money I will lose if I can’t trade it off within the month?! All for the sake of THREE BOTTLES OF MAZTE??” I also agree with avoiding all-caps; I’d also tend to avoid extra punctuation, though that might just be me. So something like: “She...she said what? Do you know how much that shipment cost me to get here? Do you know how much money I will lose if I can’t trade it off within the month? All for the sake of three bottles of Mazte?!”

Also, I just noticed that you typed ‘cargon’ instead of ‘cargo’ there.

 

Rother Nerevyn

--Choice 2 “There still might be some way to resolve this.”

--Choice 3 “I’m not getting involved any further with this. It’s your problem now.”

--Choice 3 “I said, calm down! It’s just a discrepancy in your shipping manifest!”

As Rats said it’s better to leave the PC’s responses fairly neutral, again for roleplaying. Players will have a better idea of how their characters would respond. The ‘final questions’ topic with Dagoth Ur is a really good reference; the player choices are a mixture of straightforward responses: “I have my own, secret plan for the Heart.”, and similarly straightforward actions: “End the dialog and prepare to attack.” By way of example, the above choices could be changed to something like this:

Choice 2 “There may still be some way to resolve this.”

Choice 3 “I’m not getting involved any further.”

Choice 3 “The discrepancy is in your shipping manifest.”

 

Finally, I’m only really mentioning this on the off-chance that someone else implements the quest and doesn’t pay attention:

three bottles of mazte (journal update 30, disposition >60)

I assume that should be “disposition <60”

 

Excellent quest, it was a fun read!smiley

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Kevaar
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Thank you for the criticisms! I’ll come back and work on this more tonight. In the meantime, a quick few comments of my own.

On the Oathman—good catch. I was writing for a general by-birth member of House Indoril, and will rectify that.

Porcilla and suddenly not being busy—That was partly intentional, to show Porcilla is rather a jerk and not above using “letter of the law” to get what she wants. But, it’s not entirely clear and I think Gnomey’s suggestion flows better, so wil be using that. I would also like to do the line of NPCs to make the docking requests makes sense. Makes the world feel more alive. They would have a short greeting along the lines of “This is why I’m here blah blah.. --Forced goodbye” or “Hi, I’m busy --Forced goodbye” I’ll put my suggestions for that when I come back to this.

Oi! and all caps writing—I’m a little torn on both. Oi is something I’ve seen batted around in normal English, sounds a little more interesting than the “Hey!” that she would other get. But does have a Nordic flavor. Considering Imperials are multi-cultural, this might not be a bad thing, but again, I’m torn.

For all caps, I would say the method that makes the most sense is to do whatever the game did, and I’ll have to do some digging to see. Stylistically I prefer caps to exclamations, as you can emphasize exactly what words are being shouted, rather than an entire sentence.

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Kevaar
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And making the changes in this separate post. Changes and new text is in bold.

*****

Changelog

****

v1.1.0

--Rother complains more like a proper Indoril Oathman, including changes to his cussing and backstory (edits throughout)

--added new greeting for Porcilla

--Porcilla no longer contradicts herself about sparing a few minutes

--player’s dialogue has been simplified

--most of the all-caps dialogue has been taken out or rearranged

--one choice dialogue options have been changed to Continue’s

--suggested greetings added to Loose Ends, for NPCs standing in line up front of Porcilla

--two forced Goodbye’s added to the Ragosh’s dialogue

--some typos corrected

****

 

Journal Entries

 

Part 1, meeting Rother Nerevyn

 

Part 2, talking to Porcilla

 

Part 3, back to Rother

 

Part 4, talking to Ragosh gro-Matog

 

Part 5, back to Porcilla Dythos

 

Part 6, Rother Nerevyn will be pleased

 

Loose ends

 

 

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Kevaar
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What else needs doing with this one?

I’d be happy to go ahead and start getting this coded into the CS, but I’m not sure if I should put it in my own mod file or edit one of TR’s files. Most of it is a simple copy-paste at this point, minus adding the three NPCs standing in line and a few snippets of scripting here and there.

But... there would be more to be added if we include the option for the player to independently steal the bottles of mazte instead of going through Ragosh. That was in the original quest description, and I hadn’t touched it yet. Personally, I’m wondering if the quest might be fine as it is? This option would also need:

--three uniquely IDed bottles of mazte

--scripting to register these bottles have been pickpocketed from Ragosh or (alternative) stolen from the warehouse (warehouse would need an interior if there isn’t one already)

--different dialogue reflecting the bottles have been stolen

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Kevaar
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Got all of the current work put into an .esp. Everything that I added will have the prefix KY_ up front of it. Attaching a copy of said .esp to this thread, and also to the claims browser. Please note: right now this file is for backup and progress purposes only; it’s not been tested for play yet.

Changelog v1.2.0 (Changes made to Mod file)

--basic mod file created. Not for play at this point, as many topics do not have quest journal markers and some code may be broken or missing.

--NPCs standing in line have not been added, nor their associated dialogue. Right now this file is only the dialogue changes.

--directions added and dialogue otherwise updated to correctly reflect NPC locations

 

AttachmentSizeDate
Binary Data v1.2.017.21 KB2016-03-15 03:17
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Kevaar
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Quickly throwing up a backup, as I have somewhere to be in a few minutes.

Changelog v1.2.1

--corrected typos

--corrected some instances of dialogue not appearing when it should

--added some new dialogue for quest topics to be spoken once the quest is completed

--got the coding working for Rother attacking the guard. Interesting thing to note: I had to create a unique ID for this guard in order for the script to work. I’m guessing it’s because Rother’s AI would register the guard’s ID, but then try to find a guard outside the zone to attack, and get confused. Note that this causes a doubling issue, and two guards are standing on top of each other in the front office now. Upon merging, the non-unique guard will need to be removed.

AttachmentSizeDate
Binary Data not cleaned, v1.2.120.3 KB2016-03-19 19:09
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Kevaar
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And now the rest of the bugs have been stomped. All this needs is the pickpocket option included, or it can go in as is.

Changelog v1.2.2

--added the NPCs standing in line and their dialogue

--corrected other instances of dialogue not appearing when it should

--added other topics to appear (or disappear) once quest is completed

--added fade in/fade out to Ragosh’s dialogue

--lowered the disposition required to start the quest and tweaked Rother’s disposition gains throughout the questline (as before, Rother was ending the quest with upwards of 90 disposition, which seemed pretty enthusiastic for just returning his cargo)

--stomped miscellaneous bugs

--mod file cleaned

--uploaded to claims browser

AttachmentSizeDate
Binary Data v1.2.221.59 KB2016-03-20 00:14
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Kevaar
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Aaaaand all done. Cleaned, uploaded, and ready for review!

Please note that the bottles of mazte in Ragosh’s inventory are uniquely IDed, and need to stay that way for the detection code to work. However, since they are named/textured like any other bottle of mazte in the game, the player runs the risk of breaking the quest if they accidentally use or loose them.

Changelog v1.3.0

--added pickpocket option

--changed quest journal text to reflect this