Grammar error Truth of Indoril Fidelity

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Tes96
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Grammar error Truth of Indoril Fidelity

Post by Tes96 »

In the book, The Truth of Indoril Fidelity, the first paragraph reads:

"If there is a single kernel of truth which can encompass all one must know of Indoril's illustrious house, it is simply this: ours is the house most fervently dedicated to the preservation of the ideal of the Dunmer"

Just small corrections are needed. There should be a comma after "all" and a semicolon after house instead of a comma. It would read like so:

"If there is a single kernel of truth which can encompass all, one must know of Indoril's illustrious house; it is simply this: ours is the house most fervently dedicated to the preservation of the ideal of the Dunmer."

I'm sure this text has been proof read many times but these two little things were bugging me.
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Re: Grammar error Truth of Indoril Fidelity

Post by arvisrend »

Read the sentence again.
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Re: Grammar error Truth of Indoril Fidelity

Post by Tes96 »

arvisrend wrote:Read the sentence again.
Yep, there's definitely a pause between "all" and "one" when I read it.
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Post by gro-Dhal »

Your correction makes less sense than the original
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Post by Gnomey »

The sentence is correct. One could shorten it to the following: "If there is a single kernel of truth, it is this: ours is the house most fervently dedicated to the preservation of the ideal of the Dunmer."

It is rather long, and easy to stumble over, but I can't think of any more correct way of punctuating it without changing the meaning of the sentence, as your suggestion would do.

Edit: but by the way, isn't the convention when discussing Morrowind's Houses to capitalize the 'h'?
Last edited by Gnomey on Sat Oct 26, 2013 3:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by Tes96 »

gro-Dhal wrote:Your correction makes less sense than the original
That's fine. It makes more sense to me with the corrections but it's so trivial that it doesn't really matter. Besides, real life authors have grammar errors in their writings as well. :)
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Post by Yeti »

Tes96 wrote:That's fine. It makes more sense to me with the corrections but it's so trivial that it doesn't really matter. Besides, real life authors have grammar errors in their writings as well. :)
That other people make mistakes is not a valid justification for leaving them in our work. Zero mistakes should always be the ideal goal.

The original sentence in the book is bad, and should be replaced with Gnomey's suggested correction.
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Post by Gnomey »

Mine wasn't so much a correction as a simplification. By itself it lacks context.
There are a few iffy parts to the original sentence that could be cut, though. The "kernel of", for example, as the idiom 'kernel of truth' is generally used to imply that everything outside that kernel is a lie. ("Is there even a single kernel of truth in that tall tale of yours?") In that sentence it is somewhat redundant.
"Indoril's illustrious house" also bugs me; the question that comes to mind is "which Indoril? Indoril Nerevar?" 'Indorils' illustrious House' or simply 'House Indoril' would be better alternatives, unless a single figure is actually meant, in which case the full name should be given.
So I guess it could be shortened to:

"If there is a single truth which can encompass all one must know of House Indoril, it is simply this: ours is the House most fervently dedicated to the preservation of the Dunmer ideal"

If the sentence is still confusing, it would probably be better to overhaul it; I can't think of any small edit that could clarify it while keeping the original meaning of the sentence intact. An example:

"There is one truth one must know about House Indoril above all others: that it is the House most fervently dedicated to the preservation of the Dunmer ideal"
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Post by rot »

I assume none of you have read them so FYI these books are terrible - yes, it's a SERIES too - in fact the very idea behind them is bad, and I personally can't imagine that any amount of rewriting would turn them into good books. Might want to take that into consideration before spending more effort on its grammatical clarity.
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Post by Tes96 »

Gnomey wrote:"If there is a single truth which can encompass all one must know of House Indoril, it is simply this: ours is the House most fervently dedicated to the preservation of the Dunmer ideal"
This version sounds the best to me and I understand the meaning better. Thanks, Gnomey.




rot wrote:I assume none of you have read them so FYI these books are terrible - yes, it's a SERIES too - in fact the very idea behind them is bad, and I personally can't imagine that any amount of rewriting would turn them into good books. Might want to take that into consideration before spending more effort on its grammatical clarity.
No, I haven't read any of those books yet. But why are they included in TR data if they aren't any good? Are you implying that they be taken out of data?
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Post by gro-Dhal »

rot wrote:I assume none of you have read them so FYI these books are terrible - yes, it's a SERIES too - in fact the very idea behind them is bad, and I personally can't imagine that any amount of rewriting would turn them into good books. Might want to take that into consideration before spending more effort on its grammatical clarity.
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Post by Yeti »

Tes96 wrote:No, I haven't read any of those books yet. But why are they included in TR data if they aren't any good? Are you implying that they be taken out of data?
Most of TR's unique books were written way back in the day by people who either didn't have a good grasp of lore, or writing in general. We've already replaced the most heinously bad of them, but there are still many duds to weed out from the book list.
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Post by Haplo »

Tes96 wrote:
Gnomey wrote:"If there is a single truth which can encompass all one must know of House Indoril, it is simply this: ours is the House most fervently dedicated to the preservation of the Dunmer ideal"
This version sounds the best to me and I understand the meaning better. Thanks, Gnomey.
The version you quoted is effectively the same as the one in your original post. You can understand it better, maybe, if you add a "that" in your head in between all and one.
Gnomey wrote: Edit: but by the way, isn't the convention when discussing Morrowind's Houses to capitalize the 'h'?
IIRC, that's only when you include the house. Or when you preface house with "great".
Last edited by Haplo on Mon Nov 11, 2013 8:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by Gez »

Technically, what it missed between "all" and "one" was not a comma (which disrupts the meaning) but "that".

"... which can encompass all that one must know"
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Post by Haplo »

Gez wrote:Technically, what it missed between "all" and "one" was not a comma (which disrupts the meaning) but "that".

"... which can encompass all that one must know"
As you can see in the post I made just before yours... I agree :-P
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