Betrayal of the Crown, Volume II [Ready for BoT]

Post by **Haplo** » Thu Apr 24, 2008 3:47 am

Betrayal of the Crown
by Horatio Gargonath

Volume II
A whisper in the wind. Haunting voices echoing in emptiness. Shapeless chaos dancing in the shadows. These are the descriptions given locals of Rihad of the one called Sumi. He lives shrouded in mystery and secret, master of illusions. Unchecked by those who created him, he terrorizes the darkness. Unseen by those in power, he fulfills his bloodstained covenant. Unfettered by the law, his work becomes a dark symphony of retribution, tainted by malice.

It was this man who now knelt before a decorated altar, whispering to a certain Hammerfedlian deity. On his knees, he asked for the hunger to be sated, for the unrelenting to relent. His head dipped low, so that his lips could better brush the sacred idol of his god.

Sumi's lithe form began to twist, and he grew numb as a voice began to enter his head, swirling down from above. The voice appeared to pierce his very soul, it's harsh, threatening, maniacal sound battling Sumi for his existence. It dragged out its rasped syllables as if trying to catch its breath before rambling on.

"Why did you kill him, Sumi? Why did you murder your father?" Sumi struggled, failing to fight the binding sense of despair, unable to respond.

"Why did you do it, hmm? I thought you were trying to protect him, trying to fight your 'battles' so that he might live... peacefully. That's what you told me, after all. That you were going to change Hammerfell. You were going to kill the great usurper, provide security for your pitiful way of life."

"What about your mother? What did she do, to deserve a knife in the throat? What lies did she whisper into your innocent ears, poisoning your mind against the truth? I wonder, Sumi."

"And your poor, poor sister. She killed herself on accident, trying to escape your bloody craze. Of course, that's as much your fault as it is hers; if you hadn't gone and killed your parents in front of her, she would have stayed like a nice little girl and let you murder her, too."

"Why'd you do it, Sumi... why did you kill them? To protect them? To return your life back to 'normal'? Or was it all a lie? Do you even know why, Sumi? Why you killed them? They took you in, after all. Cared for you, when you were scorned by others. Maybe... you resented them for it? Perhaps you cannot forgive the shelter they forced so lovingly over your head. That's... understandable."

"We all get a little angry, from time to time. Sometimes our fury manifests itself in violence, violence that just can't be helped. I can help you control that anger; turn it in your favor.

"Enough! Your attempts to drive me against myself are tiring, but I will not falter. I am not some half-witted beggar or greedy nobleman, such that you can win me over without cause."

"Is that all you seek? I can offer you that and more, Sumi. Prove yourself, in skill, and loyalty, and I will take you on a journey so incredible that generations to come will speak your name with reverence, and awe. Pledge yourself to me, Sumi, and all this will become reality. Such things are--easily within my grasp. Offer yourself to me, Sumi, and it is yours."

Sumi shuddered as smoke tendrils licked at his limp form, unsure of what to do. "And if I did? What difference does that make? I will finish what I set out to do, regardless of whosoever stands by me or against me. Even you."

"It makes all the difference, Sumi. With me, your victory is ensured, for I am powerful, and adept at achieving that which others attempt to prevent."

"I don't need your help." His resolve strengthening with each moment, Sumi turned to leave.

"So be it," the voice shouted. "I have offered you greatness, and you have scorned it in front of me. Know this; your quest will be impossible now, with me as your enemy, fool."

With that, the smoke and voice faded away into nothingness, just as they had come... and all that was left, was a man, alone... starting to doubt the resolve he had counted on since as far back as he could recall.

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End of Volume II

Post by **Haplo** » Sat Jun 21, 2008 2:57 am

The altar thing to Satakal is definitely going to be in the Corten Mountains. There must be tragedy. This is what the elder shows Ranguvar.

Nanu · Post by **Nanu** » Sat Jun 21, 2008 2:59 am

I can hear James Earl Jones doing the movie trailer with that intro. It's mysterious; I just hope he's a badass.

Post by **Haplo** » Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:25 am

James Earl Jones' voice is terrible for this type of thing. Too low and no passion at all.

Sload · Post by **Sload** » Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:51 am

I think he means Don LaFontaine.

Post by **Haplo** » Tue Jul 22, 2008 12:24 am

Look it's a monologue. That means I want comments.

redsrock · Post by **redsrock** » Tue Jul 22, 2008 12:55 am

I like it a lot, and actually I can see where I'm having problems with my own stories. You do a good job of using big and descpriptive words that add flare, but not too big to where the reader doesn't understand what you're trying to say.

I like the monologue idea as well. Also, nice touch with the beginning. It set the pace rather well I thought.

Post by **Haplo** » Mon Mar 08, 2010 3:05 am

This one's done.

3.B..
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